Yes, I do exist (posted by Scott)

So my first entry into this, our journey.

Though I have waited this long to expose my own thoughts and feelings here in a public format, I have always been involved with the writings here, though always in the background in an advisory position. Sometimes I helped, other times I may have made things worse.

I was originally apprehensive when Karen started this blog, as that which you have become privy to is our private lives, thoughts, and experiences. When it was clear to me the level of commitment that Karen had for this, I was happy that she was able to find a medium for sharing this experience with family and friends.

I'll tell you a little something about Karen and her postings here. In her writings, she appears calm, cool, and collected. This is really not entirely true. Karen reads a lot of message boards covering adoptions, particularly those from China. It's a wonderful source for information and comaraderie. It has been invaluable to us both in getting through all of this.

Recent discussions that we have had involve bonding with our daughter. One of the first apparent obstacles with an adopted child is forming that bond. Many people, Karen included become extremely concerned about this issue. From the first meeting with our agency, this has been stressed to us. What you do not see is when Karen tells me of things she has read, with visible concern in her eyes.

My answer is always the same. This will not happen to us.

At this point she will stop, look at me, then relax. This is not some bold overconfidence that causes me to so easily answer her concerns with just a few words. It's not that I have any secret mystical formula to use to ensure this. Every child, has problems and issues, whether they are born from us, or born for us. It doesn't matter whether these children were born in different cities, states, or even countries. Sure, the issues can vary culturally, and Karen and I will see obstacles that are different from the family across the street. They will be different indeed, but they will not be unique, and they will not be more or less extreme.

We will have successes, and we will have failures. Sometimes we will choose the right path, and sometimes perhaps the wrong one. We are going to make mistakes. These are the standard parental issues. We can only fail at parenting if we stop trying, and we will not. This is how I can so easily answer those concerns she has. We're going to make mistakes. All parents make mistakes. If parenting were easy, most everyone would have kids...

Oh wait...

All this I can go through with absolute confidence of success. If I spend all my time worrying about succeeding, I will likely miss out on the joys of the journey, and I definitely don't want to miss out on any of this.

Besides, I do have a couple of secret weapons. The first I will share with you now, the second I will save for another posting. Here you will now see why everything will be alright.



Einstein says it will be ok. You can't argue that.