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Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Erma Bombeck had a wonderful way of writing

When the good Lord was creating mothers, He was into the sixth day of overtime and an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And the Lord said, "Have you seen the specs on this order?" "She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; Have 180 moveable parts... all replaceable; Run on black coffee and leftovers; Have a lap that disappears when she stands up; A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointing relationship; And six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said," Six pairs of hands...no way!"

"It's not the hands that are causing the problems," said the Lord. "It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."

"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.

The Lord nodded. " One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, "What are you kids doing in there?" when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know, and of course the ones here infront that can look at a child when he goofs up and say 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word."

"Lord," said the angel, touching His sleeve gently,
"Go to bed. Tomorrow..."

"I can't," said the Lord, " I'm too close to creating something so much like myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick... can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger... and can get a nine year old to stand under the shower."

The angel circled the model of the mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed.

"But tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure."

"Can it think?"

"Not only think, but it can reason and comprimise," said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There's a leak, " she pronounced. "I told you you were trying to put too much into this model."

"It's not a leak," said the Lord, "it's a tear."

"What's it for?"

" It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride."

"You're a genius!" said the angel.

The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there."

-Erma Bombeck


At 7:38 AM, Blogger happyandblue2 said...

That's really nice. I'm going to print it off for my Mom..

At 12:56 PM, Blogger Monica said...

That's always been one of my favorites. The funny thing is I only think of my mother reading it not that it will be me.


At 8:27 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

That was beautiful and so true. Thanks for sharing


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