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Sunday, August 28, 2005

Time. Destiny. Chance?

Time seems to be going by so slowly. We found out from our adoption agency that our dossier did not get logged in with the Chinese officials (CCAA) until May 8th. Usually, if the documents are already translated, the log in period is two weeks at most. They were sent over on April 14th, and CCAA received them on April 18th, but for some unknown reason, they did not log in our information to their system till May. There was no logical explanation for this occurance. All of our documents were translated to Mandarin before being sent to China, so the translation of the documents did not delay them. What this means for our family, is that we are expecting to get a referral 6 months from May, instead of 6 months from April. UGH! Waiting 6 months from April is hard enough. So, it now looks as if we will be getting our referral sometime in mid/late November. Unless....by some miracle, CCAA combines early May log in dates with the month of April. We're definitely not counting on it though.

I've had discussions with others about destiny. I've come to the conclusion that before sending documents to China, free will is at play. We could have, at any time, backed out and never, ever adopted a child from China. We could have waited a few months before sending documents to China. We could have waited a year if we wanted to...All of which would have changed destiny and changed the outcome of which child we would receive, if any child at all. But, I have also come to the conclusion that once our documents are sent to China, (or are determined to), at that moment in time, ONE child is chosen for us, and we for her.... and we are destined to be together. Everything takes place from then on, for the sole purpose of uniting us with our chosen daughter. There are no mistakes at this point.

A friend from one of the forums I am involved with stated it like this:

"My point is that there is no 'ten minutes earlier or later' in this
universe. Everything in our lives unfolds in a single linear form. You
can't go back and change things. To ponder "what if's" is pointless,
they will never be. We have only the here and now.

Right this moment, you are on a path that will lead you to one specific
child. That yet unknown (to you) child is also on a path that will
ultimately lead her to you, and only you. Calling it, fate, chance,
choice, or destiny doesn't change what happens. there are an infinite
number of forces at play right now, which all are part of bringing you
both together."

How utterly eloquent. I believe he is right. And we were just a tad bit early for Cadence.


At 5:51 PM, Blogger Sparky said...

Very nice and so true. I will now wipe the tears from my eyes and keep blogging. Thanks for a very touching post.

At 10:30 AM, Blogger CindyB said...

How cool. I'm a philosophical person, so i'm always debating with myself, whether this whole contorted road to becoming parents is chance, choice, "meant to be" who knows? but I like the possibility of all those things coming into play at once. hmmmmm....something new to ponder.


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